Friday, July 31, 2009

We Miss You Adam

Our sweet Adam passed away two years ago today. He was born on July 30th at 2:22pm and lived almost 12 hours. He passed away on July 31st at 1:50am.

His 12 hours here on Earth were not easy. His little body was fighting to survive as long as he could. His 12 hours were filled with every life saving measure they could provide. It became apparent though that nothing they did was going to save his life.

At that point, we just got to hold him, love him, and wait. We (Adam, Drew, and I) were surrounded by almost our entire immediate families. I hope he knew and could feel how loved he was. How loved he still is.

This time of year is a strange time for us. We are so happy to celebrate Lindy and Will's birthdays and are so thankful for how well they are doing now. But we can never forget what was going on the day they were born. It's strange to feel so happy for Lindy and Will one day and yet so sad that we have to mourn Adam's death the next day.

There really aren't words to describe how much we miss him. Unless you have ever held your baby and then had to let him go, you'll never understand. I still ask myself, "Why me" all the time and I still haven't figured out why it happened. Why did we have to struggle to have babies, finally get pregnant with three, and then end up losing one?

All I do know is that we love Adam so much and we miss him so much.


Janice said...

I cannot begin to imagine what you and Drew are experiencing. I only know that my heart hurts for you. So many times when I look at Will, I think about the fact that there should be another little "mirror image" there too. Though I never met Adam, I feel as if I know him because of Will. I do so love little Lindy and Will!

lauren said...

Been thinking about you guys. At least with Will you have a piece of Adam but I know that doesn't make the hurt any easier to bear.

Mimo said...

I'm glad we got to hold and love him for a little while and hope he knew how much we love him. My heart still breaks for all of you.

Amanda said...

I understand 100% and I'm so sorry. I also know there are no words that can make it any better. We're just starting to think about our 2nd birthday and I hate that I'm so excited about it, but dread it at the same time. I feel bad that their bday is never just a happy day.