His 12 hours here on Earth were not easy. His little body was fighting to survive as long as he could. His 12 hours were filled with every life saving measure they could provide. It became apparent though that nothing they did was going to save his life.
At that point, we just got to hold him, love him, and wait. We (Adam, Drew, and I) were surrounded by almost our entire immediate families. I hope he knew and could feel how loved he was. How loved he still is.
This time of year is a strange time for us. We are so happy to celebrate Lindy and Will's birthdays and are so thankful for how well they are doing now. But we can never forget what was going on the day they were born. It's strange to feel so happy for Lindy and Will one day and yet so sad that we have to mourn Adam's death the next day.
There really aren't words to describe how much we miss him. Unless you have ever held your baby and then had to let him go, you'll never understand. I still ask myself, "Why me" all the time and I still haven't figured out why it happened. Why did we have to struggle to have babies, finally get pregnant with three, and then end up losing one?
All I do know is that we love Adam so much and we miss him so much.